Getting close to finishing this painting, which began in late April when I saw in my mind a fluffy young bird who is fascinated by and nurturing of a large luminous blue orb.
About 16 years ago I was doing a vision quest on finding one's spirit animal suggested by a book, probably a Llewellyn publication, that I had been reading. This sounds incredibly hokey at best and appropriative at worst to my adult mind, but was appealing to me when I had recently graduated college. I was anxious that my animal would turn out to be something I really liked, like a raven or something. Instead, hanging in the air where I thought it should be, hung a big blueish-purple orb instead. It followed me as if animated and living. Later I decided that perhaps I was not to be told at that time what my spirit animal was, or that I was in danger of seeing something inauthentic due to my apparent need to see a respectable and wise creature. The vision-guardians, I thought, had concealed my animal in a glass-marble-like globe.
Tonight as I take in the results of the painting I am drawn to the stance of the bird and the look in the eyes. I can see that this bird, rather than being fascinated, is protective in a very instinctual manner. He is guarding the orb with his life, evaluating you as you approach, and would be willing to bite the hand off of any thief.
Thinking about this art-therapeutically, as I am wont to do recently, I can see that life circumstances have created an over-protectiveness in me. A fierce quality guarding underlying hyper-sensitivity and a need to defend types of being that are unpopular. Stingy, anxious, and intense, but at its core just wanting to preserve what is its own.